Da Bark Lurd Rises (Story)

Da Bark Lurd Rises is the first story in Da Bark Lurd Saga, a series chronicling the fictional adventures of the staff and supporters of Rivalcast Media.

SUMMARY AND PLOT

Bored and waiting for his shift at the sporting goods store to come to an end, Varyar is surprised to have a last minute customer turn out to be former bodybuilder and action star Arnold Schwarzeneggar. He is even more surprised when Arnie announces the reason for his visit was that he needed to "get pumped" in preparation for an upcoming battle with Da Bark Lurd, whom Varyar had until this point believed to be a fictitious character from Tara Gillespie's goffic Harry Potter fanfic My Immortal. Interested both in Varyar's sporting goods inventory and knowledge of Da Bark Lurd, Arnold tells Varyar to "come vith me if you vant to live" and proceeds to gather a load of questionably useful sporting goods. Varyar has a better idea and suggests Arnold come back to his house to make a tactical plan/guest star on his podcast.

Any doubt Varyar has about Arnold's perception of events is erased almost immediately, as the pair are attacked by a young tortilla vendor in the pay of DBL. They make it back to Varyar's house to learn that Biomed Alchemist, the ethereal web creature who runs RCM, has disappeared. Or, Arnold points out, most likely kidnapped by agents of Da Bark Lurd. This suspicion seems to be confirmed moments later when Varyar's house explodes in a fireball. Fortunately, both Varyar and Arnold escape without injury, something Arnold insists was planned: "Eef he vanted us dead, ve’d be toast. No, da Bark Lurd has some reason for keeping us alive…for now."

When teh_leet_haxor can't trace Bio's whereabouts remotely, Varyar calls for the RivalCrew to rendezvous at RCM's backup headquarters, also known as Baroness's house, while he and Arnold fly to Bio's house to search for clues.

HISTORY

JOKES

REVISIONS